House of Mouse
by Starfleetbrat
Summary: Sam and Janet, a mouse and a shotgun. just some silliness. complete.


Title: **House of Mouse **  
Author: lab brat   
Fandom: Stargate SG1 - sam/janet friendship, team. 

notes: this is completely geonncannon's fault. no really. he knows why. and yay! almost 1000 words. pats self on back (hey never said they were good words hehe) speaking of which, lets ignore the fact that in real life the police should have arrived and arrested sam at some point for this. ok? good. and dont even ask me -why- she had it there. Lets just call that one of lifes little mysteries. :D

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From where they stood, it was hard to see the enemy. They were up high, almost as if they were on a ledge, and the creature was down below, hiding in the shadows.

"There it is!" Janet called out, pointing to something creeping in the darkness.

Sam took careful aim, and… BANG. Bits of wood and linoleum were sent flying everywhere and a hole appeared in the floor where the mouse had just been.

"Damn. Missed it again." She took a moment to reload the shotgun.

The room fell silent. The only sound to be heard was the harsh panicked breath of the women who were standing on the kitchen table, and the occasional squeak from somewhere under the edge of the cupboards.

"Are you sure we shouldn't just call pest control? I mean, we are making a mess of the Colonel's Kitchen here. Actually, maybe we should call him."

Sam raised both eyebrows and looked at the woman next to her as if she was insane.

"Are you insane? He'll kill us. Twice. First for interrupting his vacation and second for destroying his floor. With any luck we can have it repaired before he gets back and he will be none the wiser. Either way it's the last time we housesit for him. Besides, the phone is over there." She pointed to the telephone on the other side of the kitchen. "And we'd have to get off the table to ring anyone."

Janet conceded the point. It was true. If they wanted to call someone, they would have to get down and possibly cross paths with the small furry rodent. It was just lucky that Sam had been cleaning her weapon on the table, and checking over the ammunition supplies when they saw the small creature running across the kitchen floor. Otherwise they would have no defence.

"Over there!" Janet shouted.

BANG.

"Quick, over there!"

BANG.

Sam cursed as she missed again. So much for being an expert shot. The Goa'uld had nothing on mice. She sighed as she reloaded the shotgun. Then froze as a thought occurred to her.

"Umm. Janet?"

"Yeah?" Janet looked up from where she was now kneeling on the table, looking over the edge.

"Are you sure you saw a mouse both times just then?"

Janet frowned. "Pretty sure. Why?"

"Well, unless the mouse was wearing roller blades, how the heck did it get from there," she pointed. "To there," she pointed across the room, "so fast."

Janet's eyes widened as she realised what Sam was getting at.

"Oh my gosh. No. Two of them?"

"Looks like it."

The women both shuddered.

"Maybe one of us should try to get to the phone. If we used the chairs as stepping stones…" Janet did not look at all confident in her idea. "You have the military training. You'd be best for the job."

"Janet, you have military training too. So don't try and pull that 'but I'm only a doctor' stunt with me." She smirked as Janet's shoulders sagged in defeat.

Several minutes later they had moved one of the chairs and Janet was standing on it. From there, she arranged the next chair to stand on. Eventually she reached the telephone.

"We should have thought of this earlier." Janet muttered eyeing the holes in the floor. She reached for the telephone and dialled a number.

"Daniel? Hi. Listen, Sam and I need a favour…."

--

"Where is he? I though he said he would be right over?" Sam checked her watched for the fourth time in the last hour as she paced back and forth on the tabletop.

"He did. Said he had to pick someone up on the way over though. Probably Teal'c. Hey, I wonder if Teal'c likes mice." Janet mused. "Maybe we should have mentioned them, instead of just asking him to come straight over. Just in case."

Sam sat and crossed her legs, making sure the shot gun was secure and pointed away from Janet and the two giggled over the idea of Teal'c being afraid of a mouse.

They sat there for what felt like eternity. Each watching the floor until a mouse reared his head again and scurried back along the skirting board only to dash under the refrigerator, frightened by noise from the front door.

"Janet? Sam? You guys ok?" Daniel asked walking into the room, raising an eyebrow at them sitting on the table. He startled and looked almost panicked when he saw the shotgun.

"It's ok Daniel, it's nothing really, you'll probably laugh actually, you see we were…." Her voice trailed off as she noticed who had followed Daniel into the house.

"For crying out loud Carter!" the colonel threw his bag down on the floor. "What the hell have you done to my kitchen?"

Crap. The colonel was back early.

They were about to answer him when one of the mice scurried across the kitchen floor. The women leapt up in fright. Daniel frowned. Teal'c looked horrified and jumped up onto one of the chairs.

Then to the utter amazement of everyone, Jack knelt down and grabbed the mouse by its tail, palming it with both hands so it couldn't escape.

"Hey itchy, whatcha doing in here fella? Shouldn't you be out in the garage with your buddies?"

"Itchy?" everyone said at once.

"Yeah itchy. You know, Itchy and Scratchy."

Everyone groaned.

"Now will someone please tell me what the hell has happened to my kitchen?"

The women looked at each other and wondered how on earth they were going to tell him, and still live to tell the tale.


End file.
